Archive for the ‘Cheating’ Category

end of days

 

Some temptations are just to good to pass up. My curiosity got the best of me the other day and I gave in by watching one of those “End of the World” conspiracies videos. This time around the date is set for July 29, 2016. So in three days the biblical prophecies will come true and we will be swallowed up by hell fire while the others who are “saved” will rejoice in the heavens.

I’d have more faith if this wasn’t the sixth time I heard this scenario play out. No matter how many nut balls religious extreme evangelicals say its gonna happen doesn’t mean it will. In 2000 Y2K was supposed to bring on the end of all electronics thrusting us back before the industrial revolution. Nothing happened. Later the big worry was over 2012 and the Mayan calendar predictions that seemed to indicate the end of the world. Nothing happened.

Harold Camping and a few other preachers around the world have made their own predictions about the last day on earth before asteroids hit and volcanoes erupt, and earthquakes tremble. He made the accusations back in 2011, twice in the same year. Another one, Chris Mccann from Pennsylvania says Oct. 2015 was the deadline for our destruction.

With all this talk about ending the world. I ask myself why is the idea that not only our society will end so emphasized almost to the extent of endorsement by Christians and other religions. It’s almost as to say, “See I told you so!!!” This to me is no reason for celebration. There are verses in the Bible that state some will enter salvation, but no one knows who they are until the end starts happening. Sooo with that in mind is this something you really want to believe in and bring on?

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blue diamond

 

They say there are a 6 million ways to die. No one ever says how you can make money off the dead. Yes, one of the many joys capitalism is that it has not moral base(it really needs one). When the morality checks and balances and no parameters that needs to be crossed, it then gives way that are grossly outrageous. There are some many ways to desecrate the cadaverous. It’s just business never personal with making revenue and clearly this could be an issue for your local Priest to reason with.

1. Algordanza Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, now they took that saying to a whole new level. Algordanza a diamond company whose headquarters in Switzerland and has stores in 19 other countries including the US. They recently invented a way to turn human ashes into blue diamonds. The process takes the 18% of carbon that makes up the human body and separates the carbon from the other elements in the human ashes. These “memorial” diamonds have the same chemical and physical properties as a regular diamond. The average cremation creates 5 pounds of ashes, while the process only needs 1.1 pounds to make a diamond. Contaminants are filtered out in a two-step process and then adding iron and cobalt. The largest diamond you can order is one carat and takes four to six months to complete. Blue one carat diamonds can range from $6,800 to $11,200 dollars.

2. Organ HarvestThe black market literally has blood on their hands from illegally and immorally taking organs from men, women and children. The most incident that got media attention is the story of Kendrick Johnson, a teen in Georgia who reportedly of an accidental death when he was rolled up in a school gym mat. The parents had a second autopsy performed where they found his brain, heart, lungs and liver were taken out and newspaper was stuffed into the corpse. They also determined the cause of death was blunt trauma to the right side of is neck. The sad part is hospitals in New York, Philadelphia and Los Angeles are paying $150,000 dollars for each organ. It seems doctors, hospitals don’t ask and don’t care about the origins of these organs. The organ brokers make the most of the deal, while the donor if still alive gets $5,000 dollars.

Insurance

3. Dead Peasants Insurance– I first heard about the Dead Peasants Insurance or Janitor’s insurance from Michael Moore’s film about capitalism. It’s detestable to think this practice is still being exercised, but it’s capitalism at its finest. For those of you who don’t know what it is by now. “The 2006 law stipulated that companies could not deduct certain expenses of acquiring and holding such a policy from their taxable corporate income unless the covered employee worked at the company during the 12 months prior to his or her death. Before that, employers were able to buy policies under which they could collect death benefits decades after a person’s employment terminated.” Companies like Wal-Mart, Dow Chemical, American Electric Power, Winn-Dixie Store and Camelot Music made millions by cashing on their dead employees.One example of this practice is Amergy Bank made $4.75 million off an employee who they fired,but made money on his death after hearing he had a brain tumor.

4. Tissue Donation– Tissue donation applies to anything that is not a living organ and can be taken from the dead body. Tendons, veins and human bone can be used on future patients in need. $80,000 or more can be made from a single body through tissue donation. One single donor can impact up to 50 people. Tissue companies make over a billion dollars a year. Tissue donations can help with burn victims and also cosmetic surgery such as smoothing wrinkles and plumping up lips. Over 30,000 bodies are donated every year.

5. Unclaimed Money- If you are the rightful heir to a deceased relative unclaimed money and property, then you want to see if you are owed anything. Sites like unclaimed.org and missingmoney.com and great search engines to get access to anything untouched.

grave

6. Grave Robbery– The term rest in peace does not exist in this world for the affluent. Even in death the greedy and those who have no shame will take what they want from the resting places of those buried in the ground. It seems that people high on meth have become the new wave of gravediggers and stealing from sites associated with the civil war and Native Americans. They look for anything of value to feed their habit. This is a new low, even for meth heads. Depending on the artifacts found and sold they can be anywhere from $500 to thousands of dollars.

7. Cannibal Restaurant in Nigeria– You’ve heard of Tiger testicle soup? Maybe not, well how about human heads wrapped in cellophane for the for the purpose to be eaten. Yup, a restaurant was closed down when they uncovered a hotel restaurant was serving human flesh and even had roasted human head on the menu. A lump of human meat was sold at N700 which converts into $60 US dollars according to google. This is really sick stuff man.

Update-5/20/2015

8. Leather Made from Human Skin-If you ever looked at someone’s handbag or shoes and thought it was a great accessory, you may want to ask them where they got it. Not just to be nosy so you can buy it yourself, but to make sure it’s not made from human skin. One such company called HumanLeather.co.uk says they make items from real human skin and sell them to a strict affluent clientele. The site claims this is legal and they get their skin from recently deceased cadavers that were sold to them by the deceased family for compensation. Unfortunately, this is not a new phenomenon and dates back to the 17th century and maybe earlier. For example the French used to bound their books in human skin and made slippers from them as well. One article in the Mercury in 1888 claims a doctor only used African skin to make his shoes,because of he says they were the most pliable and enduring. Fast forward to today and the practice is still going strong to today. So how much for some of the items offered: Wallet-$14,000, Belt-$15,750, Shoes-$27,000. This is the world we live in.

It’s a truly sick world we live in where the voiceless are used for profit and their families are left out. Are we in such economic despair that we sacrifice our meritorious values and replace them with hollow dividends and revenue streams where you cash in by using cadavers as legal tender. These atrocious acts mark a declination in any virtuous trait that I once thought was incorruptible. I was truly mistaken.

6/21/16 –Update

In addition to the other listings I made I found out another example of how people are worth more dead than alive. In particularly people of dark skinned color. Melanin is a determining factor in creating skin color in humans and also can be used for radiation protection, anti-oxidants, pharmaceuticals and cosmetics. Melanin can be found in every organ of the human body, and darker skinned people have more melanin than light skinned or Caucasians.

A little known fact about melanin is that it is the most expensive material on earth, costing $350 dollars a gram. “Many scientific studies have verified that melanin has unique characteristics for a wide range of applications, especially in the pharmaceutical, cosmetic and battery technology sectors which have growing global demand,” said Kenneth Nealson, Ph.D., vice president of research at River Road Research.

Many African-Americans, Africans and people with darker skinned tint are weary about this. When you do the math of adding the grams of an average dark skinned male weighing about 150 lbs. is worth 28 million dollars roughly. With this kind of incentive, fearful conspiracy theorists are putting together accusations that the reason why African Americans are dying at rates higher than other races can partly be due to the worth of their melanated skin.

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riots

Whenever I hear about the words peaceful protest and civil disobedience I think of tree hugging hippies that chain themselves to a tractor singing hymns. Answering violence with peace to me never seemed like a good idea. The only example I had to relate to the boycotting of the buses orchestrated by the NAACP and MLK Jr. Martin Luther King Jr was inspired Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy Satyagraha, which means adherence to truth. I am not against civil disobedience as a whole. I just feel that this cannot be the only course of action when you face corrupt governments, dictators, rebel armies, extremists and other psychopaths who would scowl at any measure of trying to make peace without the use of lethal force.

riot

For the most part I get it, using brutality against brutality ends in more bloodshed. Honestly though, after peace talks have failed, strikes that don’t grab anyone’s attention and interventions between the two parties have not and most likely will not agree, it’s no longer a matter acting “civil.” Take for instance back in 2011, in an attempt to overthrow Hosni Mubarak’s 30 year reign, protestors formed mass non-violent demonstrations.  900 of the protestors were killed during these demonstrations.In a twist of irony the Egyptian army who would not open fire on the crowd, which signaled the turn around in the protest that lead to Mubarak’s downfall. The army was not eager to relinquish power and ended up throwing the protestors in jail. Another protest in Libya against the military might of Muammar al-Qaddafi was met with rebellion after the peaceful demonstrations did not work. The turmoil was finally resolved after nine months of bloodshed that resulted in a body count with a range from 10,000 to 30,000 people.

Also in Syria in 2011 the civil war between Alawites, Christians and Drutes  against Assad’s barbarous regime that claimed close to 5,000 citizens a month for 7 months. That’s around 35,000 lives taken and this was supposed to be peaceful protesting. Even in American history, peaceful resistance resulted in lives lost. The Native Americans were forced off their land at gunpoint. After the Supreme Court ruled that they do not own land back in 1823, Native Americans made attempts to stay on their land. President Andrew Jackson enacted The Indian Removal Act, after the Supreme Court (Worcester vs Georgia)upheld their right to stay on the land. Jackson’s motives were,based on his acquirement of gold during the gold rush era. 4,000 Native Americans lost their lives on the Trail of Tears and this shows that even political and judicial victories will never overrule greed, corruption and disregard of human life.

riotsss

The greatest example that comes to mind for my case, not to abide by civil disobedience is Mahatma Gandhi. He wanted India independence from Britain. He fought to end discrimination and the heavy taxes on his people. During Gandhi’s time in South Africa he witnessed and experience deep seeded racism against himself and his people. This inspired him to rally allies and gather for a rebellion. However, during 1947 riots against Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs resulted in over half a million deaths, which is suspected to be more according to Jens Arup Seip in addition to over 100,000 imprisoned. India eventually gained independence in 1947. The irony in his non violent protests is that Gandhi was not against violence in his own words he argued, Gandhi explains his philosophy and way of life in his autobiography The Story of My Experiments with Truth. Gandhi realized later that this level of nonviolence required incredible faith and courage, which he believed everyone did not possess. He therefore advised that everyone need not keep to nonviolence, especially if it were used as a cover for cowardice, saying, “where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.”

I’m not against peace talks, and strikes I just know the rebellious spirit of the founding fathers still lives in the American spirit. Oppressive forces in this country are the militarized police in place of the British Red Coats. One thing that we need to keep in mind is the insatiable thirst for blood that was inherited from the mother country. It is not in our nature to understand peaceful resolve in my opinion without it being a secondary thought. We fell heir to the predatorial, rapacious,avaricious manner of the plunderers of the villages of our authoritarian rulers. The ones who were more domineering than anyone else.

 

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It still amazes me when the divorce rate is over 50% and shows like the Bachelor has ratings that are at a all time high that we still look for austere relationships in our society, when we clearly are losing touch with the morals, ethics and values that was the mucilage for such partnerships to exists. Today more than ever we are more into self-indulgence than self-restraint. In the past if you were hit on while in a committed relationship a majority we pass on the advancement knowing what they have at home and not jeopardize it. Today it’s a crap shoot. Men and women are both guilty nowadays the interconnection that was once held up on a pedestal is not on the ground floor. Open relationships seem like the more modern way  to having a loving partnership and still be satisfied where your lover may be lacking.

In an article in Vogue Magazine columnist Karley Sciortino explains her nine months “open” relationship with her girlfriend. She explains the sexual freedom she feels of not being pinned down with one sexual partner and how she during her run with her girlfriend how she would still find herself having sex with guys she met from various mediums whether online or a night club or a random hookup. Sciortino explains that she never really liked being monogamous in her male/female relationships and in her current one she explained to her girlfriend that she wanted to have sexual freedom. Now she still has the jealousy issues that a normal relationship has when her girlfriend has “company” over, but Sciortino says it’s a small price to pay. Author Dan Savage argues that sexual fidelity is not a prerequisite for a committed relationship.

Feeling the emotions of jealousy and discontent the author turned to somebody they knew who had an “open” relationship and was able to find their comfort zone within their homogeneousness parameters. “We wanted to be together, but we didn’t want to feel tied down,” Samantha told me. She explained that she and her boyfriend were the type of people who want to challenge societal standards. “Personally, I wanted to deconstruct the common idea of what a romantic relationship should be, and for our relationship to stand on its own.” The friend had even thought to bring a third person into the relationship to enhance the excitement and bonding experience. She also thought bringing in friends and people they both knew was acceptable, but the boyfriend wanted random hookups and strangers over her practical requests.

Still trust, respect and communication are the foundational elements that can make an open relationship work just like in monogamous ones. Rules are a good way to set the boundaries. They should realistic and incorporate the other feelings into consideration. For Sciortino she noted that her rules were: no sleeping with mutual friends, no sleepovers, no regulars and no sex within an hour of meeting them. Let’s hope that works

Another article I read in the New York Post was about a “triad” couple Ezza, Rachel and Matt who found themselves online and decided to meet in person back in 2009. The couple had chemistry and shared views on dating, love and relationships and immediately hit it off. “I was really excited to meet people who felt the same way,” she says of her ongoing relationship with the married couple, both 34-year-old self-employed artists, who declined to use their last names because of privacy reasons. Gette Levy of open love NY is a local support group for open relationships which now has over 1,000 members and has increased it’s numbers since forming in 2009. “Dating has changed over the past 50 years,” says Levy. “Many adults of all ages are finding that monogamy does not suit them and is no longer a fiscal and social requirement.”

To be honest with TV shows like “Sister Wives” and “Polyamory: Married & Dating” and celebrities like Robin Thicke grabbing Lana Scalaro’s behind and not face consequences with his wife Paula Patton. Even power couple Will and Jada Smith are rumored to have a “open” relationship,so how can it not entice the average person to see what’s it’s like? To add onto that Dolly Parton, Mo’ Nique, Tilda Swinton and even politician Newt Gengrich’s wife Marianne asked for a “open marriage”. Researchers in Germany and in the University of Wisconsin show that the women are the ones usually to initiate an “open” relationships after becoming bored physically with their partners who they’re been with multiple years.

Ezzo’s partner Matt agrees: “The biggest misconception people have about open relationships is that it’s a nonstop party. We only have 24 hours in a day and most of that is taken up with work, sleep and responsibilities to the home and each other. To see someone else takes a lot of planning. We live by the calendar more than the bedroom.”  “I feel like monogamy sets us up to fail in so many ways….that this one person is going to meet all of our needs — emotional, sexual, physical, spiritual, financial, physical — and that’s impossible,” says Taormino.

According to Time magazine most creatures including humans are not monogamous for the reasons you might previously would have thought of. One reason comes from Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences which finds that primitive males stayed with the female to ensure that their young were not killed by another male. The study was based on findings from the parenting behaviors of 230 different primate species over several generations. The males began the balance of spreading their gene pool and protecting their young. Other males would kill the young so they could breed with the mother and spread their gene pool. So monogamy in this case was more of a way to protect the lineage rather than a sense of a obligation to the sexual partner. “This is the first time that the theories for the evolution of monogamy have been systematically tested, conclusively showing that infanticide is the driver of monogamy,” trumpeted Christopher Opie, a research fellow in the Anthropology Department of University College London, in a statement. “This brings to a close the long running debate about the origin of monogamy in primates.”

The other theory about how monogamy came to be came from the journal “Science” made another similar analysis that used over 2,500 mammals. The findings from this research show that primates may have been monogamous because of location and supply for their counterpart. “Monogamy develops where females live at low density,” says Lukas. Males cannot fend off rival suitors from more than one female at a time because they’re too spread out. Therefore, they cannot ensure their young are the ones the female is carrying, so they stick with one female. “It’s a consequence of resource defense.” The Science study notes that in mammalian species that are monogamous, the females tend to be solitary and intolerant of other females. Unlike ungulates, who are rarely monogamous, these mammals’ nutritional needs are greater, and they therefore shoo off competitors for the food resources.The Science study is more speculative. “We are cautious on making any definite statement. Humans are such unusual animals,” says Lukas. Adds Clutton-Brock: “I’m far from convinced that humans are indeed monogamous.”

Do I think having an open relationship is the way to go? For me no, I having a loving strong relationship with my wife and do not want to jeopardize that. However, I can see why people choose to look outside their current relationship. I don’t understand when people want to demonize individuals for being honest when they say they want to be in a relationship with more than one person at a time. It’s those same people who will brand you with the Scarlet letter that need to clean their own house and get priorities in order. Sometimes your partner can have everything you want in a relationship, except one or two attributes you really want. While they might not be deal breakers for the relationship it might be something you still really want. Put it like this too many relationships I see today have too many secrets,no trust, no love and they think they are still living some antediluvian religious moral code by staying together because it’s just the two of them. What if having an “open” relationship is the answer to a hard question one of you wants to ask?, but doesn’t because of the fear of sounding like a sexual deviant.

Ashley-Madison-Ad-4

I got such a great response from my last blog about cheating and the increasing percent of women cheaters, I thought to myself I want to continue this discussion.It turns out that there are actually websites devised with the sole interest of meeting, hooking up and covering up individuals who are looking for an affair or a fling outside their current relationship. I wanted to know more about this industry and exactly how their business works.

Ashley Madison a site that has expanded its brand of discretionary avocations across the globe. While the site has 70% male visitors the rate of women is increasing according to CEO Noel Biderman. In an article of GQ a few women are interviewed to understand why they are looking outside their marriages or relationships to find something new and in particular why are they using Ashley Madison to do it. They are called “Lady Don Drapers” in the article. The first woman Megan who has worked for one the highest political figures this generation admits to having an affair with not one, but two men per year and some women here and there. Megan refers to herself as “I’m a dirty old man in a woman’s body.” Her preference is young men in particularly “eye candy”. Megan calls her husband “super-vanilla” and says they have a happy household and he’s great with the kids. So what am I missing here?

Another woman Gloria praises Ashley Madison for finding her way to publishers of magazines, CEO’s, politicians, and managing partners at law firms and investment firms. Gloria says love still holds the marriage together, even though she admits that she doesn’t believe one person will fulfill her needs. She says even if she divorced her husband and married someone else it would only be a matter of time before she would lose interest physically. Gloria admits that she loves her husband, but she not willing to give up her strong sexual urges.

The company is getting some unexpected,but equally welcomed business from recent political scandals. Noel Biderman notes that says the once largely taboo topic is making more and more headway into the mainstream. “Tide is starting to turn” notes Biderman. “As the Spitzers and Weiners come back onto the stage,” so he hopes investors from “Wall Street and Canada’s Bay Street will look at this business as something they want to fund.” Biderman shares with Bloomberg magazine that his family and friends funded the website initially and within six months he was able to return the investment of 1 million dollars.

Ashley Madison is now the third largest paid dating site in the world with members in over 26 countries and 90 million dollars in revenue for 2012. With over 20 million members the company is setting it’s eyes on infidelity in Asia. In June the marketed in Japan and were able to snag over half a million people in just three months. “It was our most successful launch ever,” says the CEO. They since launched in Hong Kong its 29th market which has 80,000 members. “There is an unfaithful, sexual revolution,”…….Usually Asian culture is seen as being more conservative, but Biderman uses the argument that infidelity is in our DNA.

Biderman defends the website, making the point that he doesn’t force people to cheat. He provides the platform for those individuals who have already made up their minds to step out on their spouse. Out of the 160,000 women on the Japanese site 68% of them are married women. A lot of them are the ones who stay at home while their husbands go to brothels and massage parlors which are legal in Japan. Biderman has noticed that the percentages of unfaithful women does vary region to region. Typically Latin American women have lower female adultery rates when compared to North American and European women.

18% of single men signed onto the Hong Kong website where generally only 9 – 11% would sign up. The company expects to expand to 10 – 11 more markets in Asia before 2014. With no marketing Ashley Madison had over 325,000 trying to sign on in mainland China. While the company has had a fair amount of advertisements on radio, tv and social media. Some stations are not willing to partner with the company still. Facebook refuses to air any ads from the company and Fox and NBC wouldn’t air any commercials during the superbowl for the company. Biderman is still optimistic for the company’s future. Biderman believes infidelity can save marriages, Dr Sandy a lecturer at the department of Sociology at the University of Hong Kong says that infidelity may not destruct a marriage depending on the couples outlook on the institution of marriage.

Considering that there are couples who cannot find there sexually or emotionally significant other within the structure of their marriage they may find comfort and satisfaction with someone else. Dr Sandy makes the point, that when couples can’t agree and have deceived the other party in the relationship that is when the problems occur. Another opinion shows the popularity of the company and the website a sign of the times. The sign that people are becoming more self-centered individualistic and less likely to sacrifice for marriage and family when it comes to self-fulfillment. Biderman sees himself side by side with other industries that profit off of infidelity like hotels, jewelry stores, pornography, strip clubs, and massage parlors.

What do you think? Is he just filling a void with his company? or is Ashley Madison becoming more of an enticement to make it easier for those to cheat?  Let me know what you think?

Cheating cartoon

So I’m at a work when a co-worker asks me, “For ten million dollars tax-free!” “Would you let another man sleep with your wife?” “Oh you have to watch the whole thing!”Honestly I thought about it and told her no.  “No, you’re stupid, that’s ten million!!!” She then added. “For ten million I’d be giving my man hi fives and thumbs up the whole time I’m watching.” What my co-worker didn’t understand is just the thought of my wife with another man would disgust me to the point of no forgiveness. The walls of trust would erode and our communication would wither away and die. I asked my wife the same question a few days later. She gave me a look as to say, “Why would you even ask?” She then told me “No you’re my husband” “I couldn’t do that.”

It seems that maybe I missed it or it snuck up behind me. It’s a new day in the ways of cheating and who is cheating on who. I hear to many stories of females no longer caring if their man cheats as long as he is fiscally responsible and will keep the gifts and restaurant night out evenings coming. Some women I met say they don’t even mind being the other woman. I heard one girl say, “It’s better for me, that ain’t my man so when we done he has to leave.” The common downside to this new way of thinking is it leaves no room for love. Some of these same women will say I don’t want love. All men cheat any so what’s the point.

Even celebrities like Taylor Swift and Gwyneth Paltrow say cheating is not a deal breaker in a relationship. Taylor’s experience comes from her own many high-profile relationships with actors and singers as well. She also notes seeing her friends take back cheating men, because they feel that they belong together has set an example for her to follow. Some women want their spouses and husbands to have an affair…….I’m serious on this one. In an article in the Huffington Post several women admit that they wanted their husbands to cheat. These women weren’t abused or mistreated and mostly all says they have good nice guys at home. They just aren’t in love anymore. One woman used the scenario of her husband cheating to justify leaving her husband. Would you stay in a loveless marriage if your significant other was not the cause of your unhappiness? What if you had kids?

Well what makes a woman want to cheat on their man? Founder of Infidelityadvice.com may have the answer to that question and then some. They explain that the types of women who are more likely to cheat are ones with a lot of male friends, ones with girlfriends cheating on their spouses, an excessive need for attention, the materialistic type, if she’s a drug addict, if she views sex as a statement of her femininity. The list consists of eighteen types of women that have a higher chance of leaving their man/woman alone while they indulge themselves in other pleasures. Since women cheating is becoming more and more the norm. Fighting for the love and affection of your other half is quickly being replaced with satisfy that special “itch” for the moment.

Men cheat for some of the same reasons. Ego boosting, Peer pressure from friends and co-workers, the inability to say no, his way of ending the relationship, he may view an extra marital affair as a status symbol that comes with package of being successful in his career, he figures y’all never find out. There’s more, but I’ll let you find them all out. With so many reasons to cheat what would be the reasons for a person scathed by love to keep trying? Another question do you think if your spouse watches porn it is a form of cheating? That question came up to at work.

In this age of woman thinking like men it’s no wonder Steve Harvey took notice. He wrote a book to inspire women to take control of their relationships, also to empower over themselves and raise the bar while envisaging the prerequisites for a spouse to partner with them. Another article in Time magazine a few years back features Giuliana DePandi and her book “Think like a Guy:How to get a Guy by Thinking like One. In the article she emphasizes not telling a potential man all of your dirty laundry. Any child abuse stories, or drug abuse or things like that should remain in the background until you feel comfortable enough to share and have been with him over a few months. I agree with her statement. I dated a girl once who told me how she was molested at an early age and how she did drugs. Keep in mind this was the FIRST time I talk to her on the phone. Honestly is scared me away. She needed a therapist and I wasn’t willing to be her shoulder to cry on. Plus it was a lot to put on a person who you barely know. I’m not proud of it, but I know I couldn’t handle it.

All this talk about sex and cheating and not one mention of any science behind it. Is there a scientific explanation of why we cheat? Vasopressin is a hormone primarily used for pair-bonding. The hormone causes a trigger in the brain that happens when a species finds their mate. The gene RS3 334 or commonly known as the cheating gene comes in three varieties in humans; people can have 0,1 or 2 pairs. The more pairs they have the less vasopressin and more likely to have poor quality relationships. Last one method maybe years away, but genetic sequencing could be the key element in telling you if your mate has abiogenetic propensity to cheating.

Would you be more upset if your spouse cheated on you with someone from another race? Would you be upset if someone cheated on your with someone from the same gender? or for those of you who are homosexual would you be upset if your mate cheated on you with someone from the opposite sex? I know affairs of the heart can make people guard your most precious asset….yourself. It seems what is becoming the norm now is hugging your spouse while instgramming a fling for a late night that ends up with heavy breathing, clothes scattered in a hotel room and empty condom wrappers. And NO!!!!! it’s always the men who initiate this equidistant lifestyle. Women are as much to blame more than ever. One thing I try to live by in my relationship is: Are you prepared to lose this person if you were to cheat? How will you explain yourself to you kids about the affair? What type of person do you want to be remembered for? and last Not having an example of a happy marriage growing up, what would you do to create what you see as an example of a happy healthy relationship?

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This blog is dedicated to a co-worker I was talking to yesterday who insisted the person she is dating is already in a relationship. In fact she is convinced he is married. Now keep in mind I was ear hustling at first listening to her conversation with another person. I guess she could tell her story was getting the attention of the whole room, so she decided to include us all in the details. She explained how the guy she was seeing could never stay overnight at her place which prompted a red flag. She then went onto to say how he sent her a picture of himself. This is where it goes total CSI detective!!!! She was able to determine from a photo what neighborhood the guy lived in and even the street. From there she and a friend went to the street where she was sure the guy lived. Now he told her he lived alone, but she was able to find his car and identified the license plate by a photo she had as well. She also took note there were multiple cars in the driveway and a daycare sign at the residence. Now ordinarily I would take that story and say well the girl was way too intransigent on the fact that the guy she was dating was lying about his relationship status. What struck me as odd was that every girl in the direct vicinity chimed in with a similar story.

Some used online websites to bust guys who they thought were unfaithful. Some followed their mates to hotel rooms where they met the other woman. Some even contacted the other woman and then they both confronted the cheating boyfriend/husband. One woman told me that her husband told her he would go fishing until she found a strange number in her phone bill she didn’t recognize. She called the number and found out that it was the home of the girl her husband was cheating on her with. She was 8 months pregnant with their second child at the time when this happened. Sorry fellas I’m just telling the stories how they come in. Well with these stories you won’t find it difficult to believe that 30-60% of married individuals have engaged in infidelity at one time during their marriage. In a study the disparity between men who cheat and women who cheat are only off by a small margin. Men(20%) and woman(15%). With this age of everybody for themselves mentality when it comes to relationships what were some things that raised your suspicions? What was the craziest way you found out your spouse was cheating?